Women Talk

I’ve always wondered why it’s so much easier for men to move on after the termination of a relationship. Why do most women mope around, feel sorry for themselves, eat all the chocolate they can get their hands on and need all their girlfriends to be around them while going through a breakup? Sure, women are a lot more emotional than men are and that’s something that we can’t really do much about since it is a genetic screw up but despite this fact I can’t even remember how many times I’ve come across situations where women feel horrible about a break up while the guy is out and about having a big ole ball. Hanging out with his friend’s just days after the split and even meeting new women! The dispersed relationship transpiring into nothing but a ghost of a memory. Are men just wired that way or are they completely oblivious to all things emotional and what is it about women that makes us so prone to the weeping and not being able to get over terminated relationships? What do men do differently when it comes to dealing with ex liaisons to have that oh so wonderful advantage over us? Isn’t there anything that we can do to overcome this feeling of utter and insane helplessness? Mes Cheres, there is! After coming across a few rather galling men myself and therefore having to indulge in some forced soul searching in the area I have come to the conclusion that the only way to happiness for a woman regardless of age or marital status is to stop relying and believing that you’ll be exultant only with prince charming (when in most cases he’s not) in your life. In other words, we must stop depending on someone else particularly the male species to make us happy with ourselves and our lives. That in my opinion is where we lose out to the men folk. Men think solitary while women think binary and that inadvertently makes us reliant. Now I don’t mean that you need to entirely eliminate men from your life, stop dating or become a man hater if you’re a single gal. If a great guy comes along your way immediately following a break up then glory hallelujah, you’ve hit jackpot! But let’s face it how many of us actually come across a replacement that quickly? If you’re like me then NOT many. Likewise if you’re married the implication is not to give your man the silent treatment. What I’m insinuating is that we must seriously evaluate our lives and think sincerely about what will make us happy as individuals. Our goals, ambitions, things we’re passionate about doing should all be thought out and written down following which we ought to get busy making all those things happen! This course of action will work wonders for you. It has for me. After years of being in a sort of dysfunctional and emotionally stressful relationship that is the one thing I’ve learnt. When you’re pursuing the things that you really want from your life whether it’s that dream job, or getting involved in social work, travelling to some place that you’ve always wanted to go or even writing a book etc you’re focusing all your energy and thoughts on being positive and proactive. Eventually and this may take a while, you get to a point when you realize that you really don’t need to be emotionally dependent on someone else to make you happy because you’re busy making yourself happy! There it is. A simple modus operandi for women to take control of their lives. Rest assured if applied with conviction and honesty this technique works and you will certainly feel like “you’ve got the whole world in your hands”.

A day at the RTO and my first time driving..in INDIA! whoohoo

Yes, I do have a newfound appreciation for the DMV after spending nearly 3 hours at the RTO in Mumbai yesterday though truth be told I was very much content with the fact that the ladies were given special treatment by not having to wait in any of the lines and got all their paperwork processed before the men folk (right on!) lol. This being a drastic change for me since it's all about first come first serve in the States no matter what your gender. The order in which paperwork is completed is simple enough. You first fill out a form that the driving school provides, get it signed by an official at the RTO following which a picture of you is taken for your driver's license. Since the men and women were asked to cue up in separate lines I noticed that not one of the women smiled while their picture was being taken. Each time a picture would be taken I would literally want to scream out to them 'SMILE'!! Why on earth would anyone want to look so morose and down while they were being photographed. Beats me! So we get done with the pics to move onto the last and final leg in our journey to acquiring the learner's permit, the "TEST" portion where they assess your knowledge of the various road signs/alerts etc etc. We're assigned numbers and are then made to enter the "test" centre. You grab your spot based on the number you're given and we were repeatedly told that only 4 mistakes out of 10 were allowed. There's a screen with the test questions in front of us which is hooked up to each of our desks. Questions are answered by pressing either the red, yellow or green button. Amazingly enough the test begins with the proctor giving us the answer to each and every question while each time saying that if any of us fails we'd have to come back the next day. LOL. Sure enough there were loads of snickers and giggles in the test centre. I was so surprised especially since I had actually taken the time out to study for the damn test. In any case I did pass so all's well that ends well!!:-)

To Err is Human?

Time and again I've come across people who are just dishonest and they lie. It’s especially hard when you have somewhat of a close relationship with these individuals at some level. At this point, since detachment becomes next to impossible due to perhaps family ties or due to being close to that person at some point in time the best way to deal with it is play along. Play along with every single thing that they say to you and pretend like you agree with everything that comes out of their mouth. I find this tactic to be very helpful because it satisfies both parties. You make the other party happy because they think that you’re actually buying into their crap and you on the other hand remain unaffected and know better. Sweet deal. This method works, tried and tested. What is it about certain relationships that sometimes you just can't end or walk away from. I mean if it's all just a façade then why not be able to walk away? Why continue to mingle with people who do nothing but spready negativity in your world. I suppose there are certain societal norms and pressures that have been so deeply instilled into our being that makes detachment an impossibility. I firmly believe that it's better to spend time alone by yourself rather than being around people who do nothing for you at all. I for one adopt that policy for the most part in my life but am chastised for being aloof and uncaring. On the contrary however, aren't I trying to be honest and true to myself by not associating with people who would more than likely compel one not to like them? So how in this mix did I become the aloof and uncaring one? Go figure..